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Counselling couples and individuals through marriages & relationships

848 Fennell Ave E, Hamilton  /  call or text 905.484.3388

"Therapy  When Life Sucks!"

  • Don't Play Ping-Pong With Your Wife!

    When we have a group of friends over at the house, out comes the ping pong table or the air hockey. A few good hours of macho fun and celebratory remarks all leads to a lot of laughing and bonding. Do you play ping pong with your wife? (or husband!) I mean, ping pong without the table. Rather, in your relationship. Here, let me give you an example: Husband: "Oh man, I had such a bad day at work today!" Wife: "Oh yeah, me too! The kids were just awful all day. I am exhausted!" or... Wif…

  • When Should I Really Consider Marriage Counselling?

    If you have been sleeping on the couch, consider marriage counselling. If you have been wondering what it's like to be on one of those dating websites, consider marriage counselling. If you have told a good friend lately that life totally sucks, absolutely consider marriage counselling! They say that the average couple waits for 6 years of being unhappy before they consider counselling. 6 years! That's a long time of bickering, fighting, sleeping on the couch and being lonely. Marriage cou…

  • What Do Struggling Marriages Have In Common?

    With 90% of my appointments are with couples, I have met with many. Different cultural backgrounds. Different ages. Different life experiences. And each couple comes to counselling with different concerns and issues. However, I have noticed some common themes among couples who are struggling to be happy. The one word that seems to apply to most unhappy relationships is the word FEAR. Think about it for a sec. It's not frustration. It's not anger or disappointment, although those emotions ma…

  • Stop Saying These 2 Words!

    Making changes in the way we communicate with our spouses or loved ones is hard. Really hard. In the heat of the moment, we tend to say anything to prove our point. There are 2 words that we absolutely need to stop using today! Not tomorrow or not next week but eliminate it from our vocabulary starting right now. Using these 2 words will make those arguments even harder to resolve. And could just end up ruining your marriage. So, what are the 2 words that I speak of? Here they are, and pl…

  • Life Dreams.  What Are Yours?

    What do you want to be when you grow up? How many times have you been asked that question as an adolescent or young adult? Likely, many times. But how about now? What do you want to be? What do you want to accomplish? Where would you like to go? What hero would you like to meet? For me, one of my life dreams has always been to walk the streets of New York city! I always wanted to, but never really imagined it ever happening. Couple years ago I had the opportunity to do just that. I ju…

  • How Do I Choose A Counsellor?

    Having to sift through pages and pages of google listings to look for a counsellor or therapist in times of chaos, confusion, frustration, hurt and anxiety, is really tough. While the process in finding just the right counsellor is daunting, here are a couple of tips that will hopefully make the process just a bit easier for you. Here is what to look for: (in no particular order) Location -- fortunately we live in an area surrounded by small towns and cities. Getting from one place to anot…

  • Can Therapy Really Help Marriages?

    I often have couples come in for the first time, exhausted, stressed, beaten down and worried. Worried that therapy will not work. Worried that this will be a waste of time. That their relationship is destined to fail. No hope. I expect couples to come for counselling feeling exhausted, stressed, beaten down and worried. Usually we wait until we have almost cracked before getting help. We use counselling as a last resort. So the big question is.. can therapy work? How successful is marri…

  • I Love You. Will You Marry Me?

    As I sit here about an hour to go before ringing in the new year, I sense there are a lot of nervous guys out there looking at the clock, palms sweating, thinking about what is about to take place. At midnight we ring in the new year. For some, they are also ringing in a proposal to their girlfriends. "I want to spend the rest of my life with you! My love, will you marry me?!" Over the next several months there will be a lot of preparation for the wedding day. The cake, the dress, the music…

  • Hide! The in-laws Are Coming!

    You love your in-laws! Just admit it! It's that time of year again when the in-laws arrive, the uncles and aunts come by and the rest of the distant family members shows up to take over your house! Ah, Christmas! If you are like many families, distant relatives and in-laws pose a challenging obstacle for you. Will mom be critical of the house? Will dad drink too much? Will Uncle Jim flirt with our son's girlfriend? The things that bonds family together! To try to make the most of this upc…

  • Stonewalling.  Are You Guilty?

    You know how it goes. Right in the middle of a heated argument your partner turns around and walks away. Up to the bedroom or off to the couch. You just know this is the beginning of a day long silent treatment. Or two days. This is called Stonewalling. According to Gottman, stonewalling is when one person totally shuts down and closes him/herself off, resulting in zero responsiveness and zero communication. The interaction just... stops. The big problem about Stonewalling is that it can…