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  • 3 Pillars of Secure Functioning

    Okay, let's break down that title first:

    3 Pillars:  well, what I think of when I hear the word pillars is one of those old mansions or buildings I see in those small hidden-away towns.  Often times they use to be a hospital or clinic or some rich builders' home.  In the front there are huge pillars that looks like they are keeping the roof from collapsing.  The size and strength of them is recognizable right from the curb.  

    Secure Functioning:  secure = safe, predictable, reliable.  Functioning = every day life in a relationship

    So, 3 pillars of secure functioning, to me, means 3 strong and useful ways to ensure a safe and reliable relationship

    So, what are they?  Here it is:

    1. I am the top priority in YOUR life, and you are in MINE
    2. We make decisions TOGETHER
    3. We HELP each other feel better when distressed (even if we are the cause of it!)

    These 3 pillars of strength, safety, security and predictability is what holds up marriages during the good times and the bad.  Ensuring priorities are straight, respecting each others opinions and feelings when making decisions and being that person that your partner can rely on to help them feel better during stressful times.  

    I believe if any of these pillars are missing, your roof will come down.  Maybe not today.  But it will.