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Counselling couples and individuals through marriages & relationships

848 Fennell Ave E, Hamilton  /  call or text 905.484.3388

"Therapy  When Life Sucks!"

  • 15 Seconds A Day Can Change Your Marriage!

    "Really? 15 seconds can change my marriage?" Yes, it sure can! One of the techniques I guide many of my clients through is the 15 second expression of admiration and appreciation. Sounds simple? Guess what, it is! Expressing appreciation for something recent and specific is like gold in a relationship. I mean, who doesn't like hearing words of appreciation? Dr. Gottman refers often to the 4 horsmen, one of which is Contempt. Contempt is the number 1 marriage killer. The antidote to contem…

  • Verbal Vomit. Something Meds Can't Fix

    You know how it goes. He ticks you off so much that you begin spewing vomit. Not literally. Verbal vomit (I use to call it verbal diarrhea) happens fast, forceful and usually with little to no regret during and often after the whole incident. You get all winded up over something that your partner did that totally ticks you off, that you turn around and you let 'em have it. You bring up everything in the past, everything that is going on now, and predictions for the future. Maybe something like…

  • 3 Steps To Rebuilding After An Affair

    One of the most damaging actions that can take place in a relationship is the destruction of trust. Affairs kills trust. There are a lot of resources out there on why people cheat. This blog isn't going to dive into that. Instead, let's look at how to rebuild trust after an affair. But important to know, trying to rebuild trust after an affair is hard and not always possible. Let's look now at the first 3 steps: 1. hold yourself completely accountable! Which means, no excuses, no reasoning, no…

  • We moved!

    I am excited to announce our new office location! And I think clients will appreciate the new space too! Though I have enjoyed my time on Pearl Street, it was time to move. My new space has more parking, wider streets, easy access to main roads and bus routes, waiting room, self-signin and is located within a multi-disciplinary building. The address of 848 Fennell Avenue East, up on the East Hamilton Mountain. I am inside the Pathway to Healthy and Wealthy Living building, corner of Fennell a…

  • What I Need To Know About My Childhood Experiences

    When you think back to your time as a kid, you may not have the most positive memories of it. The experiences we had as a kid has totally shaped us as an adult. But not only that, if those experiences were negative, it can actually result in an earlier death. Let me explain.. Something called Adverse Childhood Experiences, or ACE for short, is a tool used to help unleash some of the childhood experiences, or trauma. The results of the ACE assessment opens up explanations of why we do things …

  • Nobody Cares What You Think!

    "Nobody cares what you think!". A statement I often use in my therapy office with clients. I feel like I should explain. Husband comes home from work after a very rough day. He walks in and slams the door behind him. Shouting, he says "I can't believe him! He pulls me into his stupid office and tells me that if I am late one more time he will fire me!!" As the wife stands there watching her very disgruntled husband blow off steam, she has a choice to make. An opportunity to add to the emoti…

  • Something I Want All Husbands To Know

    Most of my inquiries come from the wives. Not all, but a good 80%. The other 20% are from the husbands. And in my experience, by the time the husband does call inquiring about therapy, it's nearly too late. The story frequently goes the same.. the wife has been asking for them to go to counselling for years, the husband says no because he feels like he can fix things on their own, and time goes by but they are in the exact same (or worse) position than they were back when the wife first sugg…

  • I Cleaned The Backyard But She Still Isn't Happy!

    You dug through the closet, found some old overalls, and headed outside to do some cleaning up around the house. In your mind you are thinking how happy the wife will be. "Oh she will love this!", right? Before you know it, you are greeted by the wife with a bunch of questions. 'Why did you put the old planters pots over there?" or even worse, she doesn't even notice what you did and instead she continues on with her regular routine. Frustrating indeed! I hear scenerios like this often in the…

  • 3 Pillars of Secure Functioning

    Okay, let's break down that title first: 3 Pillars: well, what I think of when I hear the word pillars is one of those old mansions or buildings I see in those small hidden-away towns. Often times they use to be a hospital or clinic or some rich builders' home. In the front there are huge pillars that looks like they are keeping the roof from collapsing. The size and strength of them is recognizable right from the curb. Secure Functioning: secure = safe, predictable, reliable. Functionin…

  • 3 Things To Do After A breakup

    Your long-term relationship with that guy just ended. It was a horrible experience and you are so glad to be out of there! On to the next one................ but wait! Read this first! To minimize the risk of landing back into an unhealthy relationship, make sure you do these 3 things: Feel it! Go through all the emotions. You know, the anger and the crying and the self-doubting. Do it all. The break up is often compared to losing a loved one through death. There is a healthy process t…