Infidelity.
Heart breaking reality for many couples.
My phone rang…
and the woman on the other end immediately started crying. She never expected this from her husband. Her life had been turned upside down. She felt totally lost. I could feel her pain through her sobbing…
She asked me questions desperately looking for insight, reassurance and clarity. “Will therapy help us? Will I ever be able to trust him again? Why did he do this? Is our entire marriage a fraud? What if the kids find out?”
Most couples can work through infidelity with help & guidance.
There is a way for couples to repair their relationship from infidelity. It doesn’t have to be the end. Through extensive counselling, couples can learn the process of repair.
Counselling Couples Through the Aftermath of Infidelity
For couples coming in for counselling because of an affair, the expectation I have is that they will commit to several sessions. In fact, anticipate months of ongoing therapy if the goal is to have proper repair.
The first several sessions will be focused on the affair. An assessment will be done on whether there is true accountability and remorse. If there isn’t, the counselling sessions will not continue.
After the initial sessions, we will begin to look at what proper repair looks like. Specific homework will be assigned.
We then will move into the relationship and learn what was going on in the relationship that allowed infidelity to occur in the first place.
Common Questions That I Get Asked…
I have worked with hundreds of couples through the repair process after a discovery that their partner had an affair. For some couples, the hurt and damage was so unbearable that there was no way to repair. For most couples, they were able to achieve a healthy, proper repair and begin down the road of rebuild. It takes time. You and your partner will need to trust the process of therapy.
“Do you have any experience working with couples because of infidelity and how successful are you?”
“What’s the chances of my partner and I ever trusting again?”
“Will I ever get over this?”
Why Do Some Men Cheat?
Understanding why individuals cheat in relationships is a complex and multifaceted issue. While generalizing about any gender's behavior can be problematic, it is essential to recognize that cheating is not exclusive to men. Both men and women can engage in infidelity for various reasons. Nevertheless, certain factors have been commonly associated with men's cheating behaviors. Here are some insights into why some men may cheat in relationships:
1. Biological Drive
2. Need for Variety
3. Ego Boost
4. Emotional Dissatisfaction
5. Escape from Problems
6. Peer Pressure
7. Opportunity and Temptation
8. Lack of Emotional Intelligence
9. Relationship Dissatisfaction
10. Unresolved Personal Issues
It is important to emphasize that not all men cheat, and each individual's motivations for infidelity can vary significantly. Many men prioritize trust, loyalty, and commitment in their relationships. Open communication, mutual respect, and addressing underlying issues can help create stronger, more fulfilling relationships and reduce the likelihood of infidelity. Understanding the complex nature of cheating can foster empathy and constructive dialogue between partners, encouraging healthier connections in the long run.
Why Do Some Women Cheat?
As with men, it is essential to approach the topic of infidelity and why women cheat with sensitivity and without generalizations. Just like men, women's motivations for cheating can be influenced by various factors, and it is crucial to recognize that not all women cheat. Nonetheless, certain common themes have been associated with women's infidelity. Here are some insights into why some women may engage in cheating in relationships:
1. Emotional Fulfillment
2. Lack of Intimacy
3. Relationship Dissatisfaction
4. Novelty and Excitement
5. Revenge or Retaliation
6. Desire for Independence
7. Lack of Communication
8. Self-Esteem Issues
9. Unmet Sexual Needs
10. Curiosity and Exploration
11. Opportunity and Temptation
12. Lack of Commitment
To promote healthy relationships and reduce the likelihood of infidelity, open communication, trust, and mutual respect are crucial. Addressing issues within the relationship and being attentive to each other's emotional and physical needs can foster stronger and more fulfilling partnerships. Empathy, understanding, and a willingness to work through challenges together are vital in maintaining a committed and loving bond.