Will He Cheat Again?
This is the most common and impactful question that gets asked when someone finds out that their partner had cheated. Will he (or she!) do it again?
Let’s get right to it. Here are some warning signs that your partner may cheat again:
your partner doesn’t really see what the problem is. They don’t see cheating as an issue, immoral or unethical. They justify what they have done by comparing it to others who have cheated, like their their parents.
your partner is too casual about cheating on you. They are dismissive of their actins and dismissive of your feelings.
your partner simply does not take responsibility for their actions. It’s someone else’ fault. They did it because… (fill in the blanks). They lack accountability. They blame you for them cheating on you!
your partner has a history of cheating, being deceitful, lying and deception.
your partner is very secretive, lack transparency and value privacy over togetherness
your partner refuses to, or simply cannot, empathize with the hurt that they causes you
If you find yourself in a situation where your partner has cheated and demonstrates some or most of this list that chances of them cheating on you again is much higher compared to someone who takes full responsibility and ownership, can empathize and validate your hurt, practices absolutely full transparency daily and has a history of integrity.
Paul Lucas is a marriage therapist that specializes in helping couples repair after infidelity. His direct, no-nonsense approach is a welcome change for most couples who come to therapy. He helps couples get to the bottom of what actually caused the affair, what was going on in the relationship and helps them figure out whether they can recommit to a rebuild of their relationship.
Paul practices from his office in Burlington, Ontario and also does virtual sessions for those across Ontario who cannot come to his office.