3 Ways To Improve Your Marriage Right Now.
Marriages are not always filled with moonlight dancing and glitter. Shortly after the honeymoon stage wears off and real life starts, couples often face challenges that puts their relationship spinning out of control.
Here are 3 ways you can start improving your marriage right now.
Use a filter. You don’t have to say everything that comes to your mind. Avoid saying every critical thing that comes to your mind. Successful marriages are couples who are kind and patient with each other. Criticism is one of the 4 horsemen that Dr. Gottman speaks of - a behavior that destroys marriages. Filter out the criticism and blame and replace it will softness and respect.
Be soft. If you go into a sensitive topic or argument with your sword up, your partner will have their sword up too and before you know it, a battle will begin. Be soft, put your sword down, don’t accuse or assume. The best way to be “soft” is to use “I” statements or even “we” statements.
Accept your wife’s influence. As Dr. Gottman points out in his research, “In studying heterosexual marriages, we found that a relationship succeeds to the extent that the husband can accept influence from his wife. For instance, a woman might say to her husband, “Do you have to work Thursday night? My mother is coming that weekend, and I need your help getting ready.” He replies, “My plans are set, and I’m not changing them.” As you might guess, this guy is in a shaky marriage. A husband’s ability to be influenced by his wife (rather than vice-versa) is crucial because research shows that women are already well practiced at accepting influence from men. A true partnership only occurs when a husband can do the same thing.”
By putting into practice these 3 things you will notice an improvement rather quickly in your relationship. It takes practice, don’t give up.
Best of luck!